welcome to vegas, a city on steroids. four days of dry heat, plastic faces, stilettos and money, money, money. i saw some things a person should never see. but i won’t post those photos cause they’s ain’t SFW.

also, design students impress me. so smart. so creative. jealous.

growing up in a traditional italian household meant that the dinner table was always loaded with homemade sausages, capicollos, proscuittos, and practically any other meat you can imagine. when i was fourteen, instead of going out with friends, my weekends were begrudgingly spent making sausages with my dad and any other family members/friends he roped in. (there were precious few who could turn down offers of homemade wine…)

so, when charcuterie became popular i was taken aback… cause, really, what’s so cool about cured meats?

seeing as the fad took over the toronto foodie scene awhile ago, and hasn’t budged a bit since, a LOT.

i guess knowing how to make sausages is, like, cool now?

does this mean my dad is also cool now? the angst-ridden fourteen year old girl inside of me is in a state of shock.

thought i’d give you a tour of the meat factory that is my dad’s garage. i spent last saturday here, elbow deep in pork and deer meat… i left with a supply of sausages that will see me through this harsh canadian winter.

vegetarian friends, i apologize for the meatiness of the following. (i was a vegetarian for a year in high school. didn’t go over well with the fam. there was many a plot i thwarted by siblings and cousins who tried to sneak meat into my food. after finding a slice of pepperoni hiding between the cheese and crust of my pizza for the fifth time, i realized i could never leave my dinners alone again.)

this is how it went down at every.. single… one…..


me: “hi, i’d like to photograph your restaurant.”
waiter: “okay, i prepare food for you to photograph.”
me: “great!”
*15 minutes later, waiter brings out heaping servings of delicious & spicy food, each more appealing then the next.
me: “these looks delicious.”
*snaps photo*
me: “all done!”
waiter: “you take food?”
me: “ahh thanks, but i’m fine.”
waiter: “you… take… food?”
me: “i appreciate the offer, but i honestly can’t. thank you, though.”
waiter: “you take food.”
me: “no, really, i’ve already ate. it would be a waste”
waiter: “YOU TAKE FOOD.”
*cut to inside of car. white plastic containers, bulging with noodles, chili chicken, and shrimp paneers, litter the backseat. there is no backseat. white plastic containers have swallowed it.

i drove around in minus ten degree weather with the windows rolled down for fear of smelling like fried food. my pores are STILL oozing sweet and sour sauce.

if i never eat fried chinese-indian food again, i would die a happy woman. GASP. I NEVER THOUGHT THOSE WORDS WOULD EVER COME OUT OF MY MOUTH. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

goddamnit. journalism has ruined my life. and by life i mean a delicious food that i like to eat, occasionally.

the other day, i got arts and craftsy at the media preview for the one of a kind show and sale. it made me feel like i should be making more things with my hands. like, real tangible things. not just internet things.

(these are by this girl here. and i like ‘em.)

man, i thought these marionettes were so purdy.

i plan on returning and buying everyone (the vip’s of my life) their xxxmas gifts here. you should to.

p.s. on top of nice things, there were also ridiculous things. like these, um, sock… hats?

WTF

p.p.s. watching a special on madonna as i type this. she is unbelievable.
p.p.p.s. also watching older eps of the office. SO much better then the new ones. remember when jim pined for pam from afar? sighhh.

The inaugural celebration of Toronto’s gaming community featured speakers, demos, and even an arcade outfitted with the best retro games you can remember (plus the games you can’t). The brightest of the city’s indie devs came out to play, and play they did.

Things I Learned

- dev is short for developer (i’m a n00b).
- cupcakes are delicious but pacman cupcakes are even MORE delicous.
- i ♥ geeks.
- i miss cartridges (remember this cartoon? forgot how awesome and… sexual it was.)
- tee.oh. has a really awesome, really innovative growing indie gaming community that i didn’t even know EXISTED. it’s fucking rad, and welcoming.
- indie game devs are artists in their own right.
- gardening can be guerilla and BADASS.
- games are USEFUL. fun fact: a doctor actually used one of metanet’s games in a study on ADHD and anger management. patients played purposefully frustrating games to learn how to control their emotions.
- blobs are the new vampire.
- building a game a week is kinda punk rock
- rock band meets tower defense games = A FUCKING COOL & INNOVATIVE WAY TO PLAY.
- sometimes all you really need to do to win is keep things simple, and adorable.

PLUS CHECK THIS OUT, IT’S BLEEPING AWESOME.

headed to canzine at the gladstone last sunday. lots of fun, soo busy. i got super sweaty taking photos of things like this art installation on the 2nd floor. it featured found photos of mannequins from the 1930s and 40s. awkward. and cool. an apt description of everybody there.

I didn’t think the evening could possibly get more kitschy, until I saw Dave from The Moist Towelettes set up his KEYTAR.

The four piece’s history is quite the musical love story. Japanese girls (Emi and Yuko) meet Canadian boys (Dave and Mike), form a band in Tokyo, and play unashamedly sweet and seriously catchy pop music.

Clad in matching plaid outfits with fuzzy bracelets and plastic swords, Emi and Yuko were cute. As the stage was set (and strewn with pastel pink balloons), the girls handed out colourful lollipops to seated audience members. By the time Emi and Yuko grabbed their microphones, fittingly decorated with pink fur, I felt more like I was at a slumber party then a show.

Between shouts of “Get Moist!” and synchronized dance moves, the girls waved, giggled and grinned. Their unabashed enthusiasm was as infectious as their music… which would be borderline absurd, if it wasn’t so charming and catchy. Think Sesame Street meets the Beach Boys meets Nintendo. Plus lyrics sung in Japanese and English that will make you go “awww.”

Only Emi and Yuko could make the band’s mantra “ “Konya mo issho ni, utatte, odotte, get moist!” which translates to “Tonight, all together, let’s sing, dance, and get moist!” seem darling and not borderline inappropriate. Other highlights included an energetic rendition of “Rock N Roll Boyfriend” with synchronized air guitars to boot and the catchy Spice Girls-inspired “Girl Revolution.”

I picked up their latest (and first) LP, aptly titled “Get Moist!” on my way out. The cd itself is bright pink with illustrations by one of the band’s own. Honestly, I don’t think I will ever listen to this music again. So, why did I buy a cd? Let’s blame that one on the sugar rush. I just couldn’t say no to the bizarre, adorable sweetness that is The Moist Towelettes.

Catch the Moist Towelettes spread their, er, moistness to our French-speaking neighbour as they play Pop Montreal next.

Directed by Ruben Feischer, the film follows the story of a geeky World of Warcraft-playing student (Jesse Eisenberg, the thinking man’s Michael Cera) and the rules he lives by in a post-apocalyptic zombie world. On his adventure, the kid is joined by a gunslinging “cowboy” (Woody Harrelson), and a team of wise-ass sisters (Abigail Breslin and stone cold fox Emma Stone.)

Zombieland is a comedy first, and zombie film second. Maybe it’s because I was recently exposed to the bloody, disgusting awesomeness that was REC [2] during TIFF and my standards are set too high, but I left the film thinking “….meh.” The jokes were just cheesy, and obvious. The best ones, of course, were ruined by the trailer. In a week, I bet all of the fourteen year old boys and members of fraternities on your facebook will have updated their statuses to say “Nut up or shut up.” (Not even made funny by Hollywood’s favourite pothead, the loveable Woody Harrelson. Man, he made Will and Grace awesome. So why not this?)

Jesse Eisenberg was… annoying. I understand why they casted him, but for some reason his inability to talk in a more-than-monotone-voice just doesn’t work in this movie. Emma Stone is a fox. I love her. She can bring funny to even the shittiest of roles (think House Bunny.) But despite her awesomeness, she fell flat. (Kind of like her chest. Unfortunately, she seems to have succumbed to the Hollywood diet and looks like Lindsay Lohan‘s twin. Eat some fried chicken, Emma.)

I must say though, I really did enjoy the opening credits. Because I am amused easily. And, honestly? I WAS amused by this movie. Memorable, though? Not really (except for a KILLER cameo. hint: think Ghostbusters re-enactment. ack, i’ve already said too much.)

Okay fine, it’s a comedy first and a zombie movie second. Sure, my inner zombie fan is disappointed by the weak plot. Maybe I could have forgiven that if the jokes were actually funny. Unfortunately, in Zombieland the humour falls, um, dead. HEY-OH.